Newhard Landscaping, LLC

October 12th, 2010 § 0 comments

Zach here. We all know that Nandan is in Detroit. What we don’t all know is that I’m there (here) too. Both of us are here right now…specifically, in the Arthur Neef Law Library at Wayne State University. But why?

Frankly, Nandan has not done a sufficient job of portraying the insanity that is his new life here. I can’t blame him. The guy’s up to his weird beard (see previous post) in location, casting, and scripting snafus, so it comes as no surprise to me that blogging’s been the last thing on his mind. That’s why I’ve taken it upon myself to give a rundown of what is (isn’t) happening out here…

I landed at midnight between Friday and Saturday. Nandan picked me up in his new production minivan, a 2000 Honda Odyssey that’s turned out to be one hell of a pricey lemon by any standard. I got in. I was along for the ride. We stayed the night at somebody’s house that Nandan had the keys to. He has somehow weaseled his way into literally hundreds of acquaintanceships since arriving here, so I’ve found myself confronted with a lot of strange faces and am constantly wondering who they belong and how they all relate to one another, among other questions. I rarely receive answers.

On my very first morning in Detroit we drove to our new temporary residence. It’s a seven bedroom house. Yes, seven. But we’re not its only occupants. The owner of the house is named Ivan. He has the physical appearance of Santa Claus coupled with the personality of an intellectual Macedonian (Yugoslavian?) scientologist in his mid to late sixties. The story’s not entirely clear to me, but I think that Nandan met him at a bar last week. There’s also an amiable member of the International Society for Krishna Conciousness living in a tent in the backyard who bears an uncanny resemblance to Will Oldham. Stay with me. The house is huge but you’d never know it because it’s filled to the brim with antique books, furniture, and unrecognizably old music equipment in total disrepair. We’ve taken to describing Ivan and his lifestyle as “old-world”, and very accurately so. When we first arrived he greeted us with heaping bowls of stew. His kitchen is packed with nothing but bread and vegetables. He has continued to serve us his hearty variations on the stew theme for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every single day so far. I believe it was our third morning there that we woke up to a lamb’s head on a plate on the table. You know, to put in our stew. Ivan, a gracious host, had saved us an eyeball apiece. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

It was on that very first morning that Ivan received a notice from the city demanding that he contain his unruly front yard. Being the strong, young, rent-free residents that we were/are, it only made sense that we step up to the plate and volunteer our brawny bodies to the task. There’s no way that I can describe this yard, so we took photographs.


We finished this afternoon after three days of lopping, lugging, loading, and illegal dumping. Well, the illegal dumping stopped on the second day when we were overcome with guilt following a fiery drive-by reprimanding. Today it was all done by the books. We even developed a system, Nandan would dispose of the yard waste:

While I posed shirtless by the van:

And that, my dear friends, is what we call filmmaking.

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